can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Randomize
