I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
Best porno line to date...."drinks are on me..." while she female ejaculates into a wine chalice
Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
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