i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
