we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
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