I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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