If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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