Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
the day i stop sending you hentai screenshots is the day i actually act like an adult, and TRUST ME. THAT AINT HAPPENING ANYTIME SOON.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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