also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
She looked like Sean Connery with cleft lip. So to answer your question, yes I put it in her butt.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
To confirm, you are a grown ass man and you just asked me what her vag looked like.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
