Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I feel like a drive thru vagina
You know the force is loosing strength when Darth Vader can't handle his liquor on halloween.
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
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