hipster in red sally jessy raphael glasses inside. kick her.
i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
Randomize
