Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
it's pretty bad when you go in bed bath and beyond and recognize 6 different bed spreads you've had sex on
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Finally hooked up with Ryan. Now I know why they call him “Beast Mode”. So. Many. Orgasms.
Randomize
