you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
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