remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
about to get into a hot tub with three cops. this cant go well
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
She's still mad at me for saying she looked pregnant and not getting her chicken nuggets.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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