this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
drunk sex in a shower = bad idea broken arm
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Having a midget officiate your wedding because you think it'd be hilarious: good idea or potential lawsuit?
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I made the antidote to the nasty cognac. I AM THE GOD OF MIXED DRINKS.
Randomize
