Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I didn't shave. On purpose
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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