I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
The chlamydia really affected his face.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
Randomize
