Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
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