There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Randomize
