evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
My booty call said shes done doing the walk of shame. Wtf is that?
It's what anyone that sleeps with you, specifically, does when they leave. Some do it even when they just think of you.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
look mate, i'm pretty sure 14 texts saying "fuck me. fuck me now" more than passes the legal benchmark for consent.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
He drew a face on his balls with a sharpie. It was like giving head to a unicorn.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
