We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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