Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
We're the kind of people who ruin family vacations
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Randomize