I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
when you wake up naked in a bed with glowsticks, a rolled ankle, a hangover, and a condom; alone. you wonder shit
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
Randomize
