My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
HE THREATENED ME WITH A CACTUS. WHERE DID HE EVEN GET A CACTUS.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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