I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
