Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
Randomize
