Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I just put vodka in my apple sauce. Spice up your fucking life.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
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