forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Also: I hate her so much. She's out at hooters, making spelling errors, while I'm literally sitting at a clinic getting std tested. Which of us won the morality award in this break up.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize