I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
