Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I am going to go Miley Cyrus crazy if I don't get sex soon
Headline in the alligator: young zeta goes berserk after lack of sex and is found naked swinging from wrecking ball on university ave, refuses to get down until sex partner is found
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
All my friends are getting into relationships and going through breakups and I'm having Plan Bs and crunch wraps for dinner.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
Randomize
