I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
The awkward moment when you're leaving the most attractive guy you've ever been with and you're trying not to shit on yourself. Fucking welcome to my life
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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