He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
why is there an outline of nathan's body on my wall in whip cream?
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
It's pretty fantastic. I just wanna know how your bra ended up in the aquarium the other night.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
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