Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Needless to say, I woke up on the bathroom floor wearing the dress that my mom wore to the wedding. That open bar stole my soul.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
