He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
So the coke mirror was perfectly angeled at my face right when i woke up this morning. I now know how I'd look on intervention.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
