Answer the phone when I call you in a second. Just got pulled over for getting road head, going to secretly put you on speaker phone, this should be good
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
This is why I need to move out...so my naked vomit covered walk of shames to the bathroom are only witnessed by one other person who is equally as pathetic as me and the cat
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I'm sure there's been a weekend in 2014 we were sober... Clearly it wasn't fun, bc I can't recall it. Point proven, alcohol is key.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize
