Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
He got up after sex and said "is it wrong if I say happy Mother's Day?"
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Randomize
