So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
Omg you can't vacuum salsa that's just ridiculous
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
He told me that when he bends me over that chair I remind him of a bull rider. So thanks for being the ex that helps my present sex life
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
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