Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Just bought myself a coach diaper bag. I thought it would be perfect for school. the baby bottle holders are where i'm gonna put my booze
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
I know. In fairness he did tell me to throw up out his window onto his roof so I don't think he's pissed at me but I'm still mortified by the whole situation.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
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