I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
I got turned off after he said, "i can see us in the future...me, you, and a back yard full of alpacas."
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
There’s an entire generation of people out there who didn’t grow up watching Mr. Rogers and it shows. These Boomers need to get their shit together.
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