He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
