so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
