last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
they call him Oral-B. enough said
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Why do you think she gets more guys?
well her prof pic is her in her bedroom looking hot and mine is me looking terrified while holding a giant spider at 6 flags, so there's that
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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