did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Just had someone from Hells Angels snort coke off my tits...so I'm pretty much done with life now. 💀
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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