That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Sorry you had to hear me puke. I didn't know I called you. Was it graceful?
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Tell me you didn't have sex with my dad.
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
Randomize
