What started out as Cougar hunting turned into whaling
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
He's on the porch naked. Help.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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