We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
fuck that its my house. if i want to take 1 bite out of the chicken & leave the rest i fucking will. suck my dick
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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