hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I'm going to go hang out on a giant wooden pirate ship for 5 days.
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Nothing says I have a hang over like telling your boss to "eat your shit"
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Randomize
