Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
Randomize
