Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
Randomize
