is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
Randomize
