I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I called you last night? What did I say??
That you love me forever and that I'm the greatest in the world now mohammed ali is dead...
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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