I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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