I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Willing booties have sort of a tractor beam for me.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
