hotel room ftw
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
