I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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