I wannas sexs uuuuu
i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
normally i'm against accepting campers on facebook but this one saw me giving head to another counselor and didn't say shit about it to my boss so i feel like shes earned the right to look at my sloppy drunk pictures
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Today has been the most awkward masturbatory day of my life. Possibly even more awkward than when my mom found my vibrator on Mother's Day.
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
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