I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
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