I just crawled out of a second story window using a sheet and his clothes for a rope so he wouldn't wake up.
I am so glad I watched Macgyver as a kid.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I just spent the last three days trying to hook up with a dude for his pool privileges
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
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