Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
Correction, I've been on a lot of dates and a lot of dicks
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Howd you meet this guy?
I found him next to my pants on sunday morn.
Sending me a thank you card for letting you fuck my sister was completely inappropriate
Just been one of those weeks where alcohol out weighs friendship
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
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